


hot dog, I sure am glad to see ya!

by theprincessed



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Established Relationship, F/M, Florida, Fluff, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-13
Updated: 2019-05-13
Packaged: 2020-03-02 21:34:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,913
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18819445
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theprincessed/pseuds/theprincessed
Summary: The Mickey Mouse room in Florida sees some unexpected action...(aka a PWP that came out of nowhere somehow sparked by Phil's13th May 2019 IG story)





	hot dog, I sure am glad to see ya!

**Author's Note:**

> Hiya! I haven't finished anything since January and my brain does THIS in one sitting?? I'm sorry I have no idea what this is. Just bad jokes and smut. And Dan is a minx. No idea where that came from either. Also, I'm assuming Phil's in Florida lol.
> 
> Title is apparently a Mickey Mouse phrase? Oh boy, I'm going to hell...
> 
> Enjoy? x

The time to jet off to sunnier climes seems to come around quicker every year for Phil. It's possible that time is speeding up or he's just getting older and that feeling comes with age. He suspects it's the latter, but the idea is a little too depressing to dwell on too much, so he tries not to. Besides, Dan does that sort of thing more than enough for the both of them put together. Instead, Phil lets the excitement for sun and fun in Florida relax into his bones until he's got a big grin on his face as he's climbing out of the rental car his family has for the fortnight and he gets to look up at the place they'll call a temporary home. It's probably about time Kath and Nigel invest in a second home as they come to the Sunshine State so often and Phil could help them out if they needed the money, but apparently moving to the Isle of Wight is “enough upheaval and craziness for a few years”, according to his mum. Plus, Phil suspects she likes nosying around other people's homes and almost playing pretend whilst they're there. 

It appears she's not the only one as Phil watches Dan lift his mirrored sunglasses to his forehead like he can't believe what's in front of his own eyes. It is pretty impressive – a two storey house with a double garage and a driveway to match, balconies outside the front facing bedrooms and probably ones for the back too, overlooking the swimming pool they've yet to see, complete with sun loungers, full length glass patio sliding doors and a blue sky view to die for.

As his parents start to unload the car of their belongings, Phil finds himself following Martyn and Cornelia around the side of the house and motions with a jerk of his head for Dan to come to. It wouldn't be a family holiday unless his brother and his brother's girlfriend was here too, but he seriously regrets the thought when Martyn precariously pokes a flip flop into the swimming pool to nudge an inflatable ring floating on the surface.

“Looks like Dan's life is made,” he sniggers and Phil's mouth sets into a thin line because he always thinks he looks like a blind mole when he tries to glare menacingly.

Still twitchy about leaving Phil's parents to haul luggage into the house, Dan finally pays attention to in front of him and rolls his eyes so hard it's a wonder they don't get stuck. “That was one time,”

“With photographic evidence,” Martyn adds and Phil hopes he can blame his blush on the heat. The memory of a shorts-clad Dan falling asleep tucked into an inflatable doughnut makes him inwardly smile, but cringe at the same time. People weren't really meant to see the picture like that so candidly, but Phil couldn't resist. He just looked so adorable and...peaceful. With a busy waking mind like Dan's, it was hard to find those moments, much less capture them.

“Ooh look, we can have BBQs!” Cornelia exclaims, changing the subject to the shining chrome monster set into a stack of red bricks beside a big outdoor table and lawn chairs.

Phil's stomach rumbles quietly at the thought and he catches Cornelia's hint of a smile that comes his and Dan's way, glad that she tempers Martyn from being too much of an annoying brother.

With the afternoon sun beating down on them, they round the house to unlock the patio doors and step inside to meet Kath in the kitchen, peering into the fridge as Nigel thumps the last of their belongings into the foyer.

“Thanks for helping, children,” she sighs dramatically.

Martyn snorts as he takes Cornelia's hand and shows her into the various living areas. Phil feels like he needs to do a little better and walks up behind his mum to put his hands comfortingly on her shoulders, towering over her. She takes the silent apology for what it is and pats his hand before turning towards the cupboards.

“Why don't you take Dan upstairs?” she suggests casually, not looking at either of them.

It's not the first time she's said something like that like its nothing. It is nothing. Dan has been part of Phil's life, Phil's _family_ , for a decade and they've been together for nearly as long, but he supposes nobody gets used to their mum making remarks that could be innuendo, even if it's really tame. Dan chokes on air and hides it in an awkward cough as Phil's eyebrows rise. They'd rise into his hairline, but that's difficult since he's embraced the quiff and he can see how his wide eyes make Dan giggle silently. Phil's heart leaps. He loves seeing Dan smile and laugh.

Before he can brush the idea off, Phil comes around the island in the middle of the long kitchen as his mum mutters something about needing to buy groceries. He grabs Dan's wrist and lets his fingers slide down as he heads for the stairs. They flow in a wide arc of mahogany wood and he can hear Dan's footsteps follow behind him just above the fluttery beating of his heart. It reminds him so much of climbing their less fancy stairs at home, hands entwined in a sleepy walk at the end of an evening or, more excitingly, an almost two-at-a-time leap to shut the world out for fun in the bedroom.

“Where are we going exactly?” Dan asks, a little breathlessly as he nearly misses the last step up in Phil's haste.

Phil feels the warning squeeze and holds on, dragging him along as he begins to quickly open doors. “Exploring, like Mum said,”

“And here was I, thinking she meant to _take_ me upstairs to our bedroom to royally fu - ”

Phil spins and clamps his hand across Dan's sinful mouth, delighting in the surprise on his face at the move. “Stop it,” he tuts. Dan plays with a moan against Phil's fingers until Phil darts in to peck a kiss to his own upturned palm and Dan jerks away to sneer.

“You disappoint me _so_ much,”

“I know.” Phil grins, before turning to another door, blinking at what he finds inside.

It's a white-walled lounge area with a sofa and a TV and all of it pales into comparison in the face of the amount of Mickey Mouse in the room. He's _everywhere_ \- adorning prints, a red rug, a throw and even a tiny table in the centre. He likes Disney as much as any person, but not this much. He sees Dan's shoulders shaking and joins in with the laughter, pulling out his phone to document this strange place onto Instagram with a pithy comment. He doesn't want Dan out of the way, but he's aware of him stepping behind the door so his wild camera angles don't catch his feet, keeping his presence a secret. Old habits die hard and it's not a bad one to hold onto really, the private staying as private as they mutually want it.

“Are you done?” Dan sighs, but Phil can tell it's only for dramatic effect. It's something Dan and his mum have in common.

“Yeah, I'm so over it,” he replies with just as fake nonchalance.

He's not expecting Dan to peer around the door, nod then reach an arm out to clutch as Phil's t-shirt and reel him in. As their chests bump, Phil's gasp gets lost pressed against Dan's lips and then they're kissing in open doorway, Dan's fists clenched in the front of his stripey t-shirt and Phil's stuck to Dan's bony hips. After a long moment, he loses contact as Dan steps forward and he stumbles over his feet, any of Dan's touches making him more clumsy than usual. He jumps when Dan shoves his heel into the door to kick it shut, clearly no longer caring if Kath or anyone else thinks they're doing something less innocent than exploring unknown territory.

“I'll explore _your_ unknown territory in a minute,” Dan mumbles lowly. It tells Phil that he must've accidentally said that last part out loud to his boyfriend and he meant to respond jokingly, but the timbre of his voice kind of ruined it. Their mouths part with a soft sound as Dan pulls away to blink. “Wow, uh – shoot me?”

“Never,” Phil promises sincerely, too soft, as he strokes his thumb just under the waistband of Dan's faded black shorts.

He puts his lips to Dan's again and coaxes him back into the moment with a gentle pull to his waist with one hand and uses the other to feel out the shape of the sofa. It's the only way he's not going to fall into an undignified heap and taking Dan down with him. It's not a problem on a big cushy bed they've yet to find, but sofas are tricky for them. Eventually, they eases side by side with hips and knees aligned and their hands crossed over to cup each other's faces. 

In the midst of another leisurely, warm kiss, Phil holds the back of Dan's neck and knocks his hat over his eyes, the peak bumping into Phil's nose. “Ow! Take it off.”

Dan pouts. “No. It's fashion.”

“Not even to snog your boyfriend silly?”

Phil doesn't miss the hint of a smile Dan has at 'boyfriend' nor the shake of the head. “You're already silly enough.” Just for that, Phil plucks the denim cap off Dan's head anyway and leans away with a chuckle as Dan squawks in protest and scrambles to get it back from Phil's outstretched hand. “Fine,” he pants eventually, “you asked for it.”

Dan grasps his shoulder for balance and swings one long leg over both of Phil's. One second, they're sitting beside each other and the next, Phil is staring up at Dan's triumphant face, bewildered as he straddles his lap, hat in hand. “I didn't ask for that,” he says, slow and quiet, “but I'm not mad about it.”

What surprises him more is when Dan tosses his hat onto the floor and snogs Phil silly like he wanted him to all along. In this new position, everything is heightened. He can feel the material of Dan's shorts brush just above his knees, his fingers sunken into Dan's curly hair and the pleasant weight of a fully grown man across his thighs. Even as the sunlight streams in through the blinds-covered window, it's warm on their skin and Phil feels the heat that's building between them also kick up a notch as he pauses their thorough kisses to gently press his teeth into Dan's lower lip. It's to get him to stop squirming, but he whimpers instead and struggles to move closer and Phil is powerless once again because he can never refuse Dan anything that matters. And this matters, it's real, and Phil groans brokenly as his dick joins the party, responding to his hands covering Dan's arse. He's pretty sure there's an extra layer of arousal because this almost feels wrong somehow, an illicit thrill to be rutting against his determined boyfriend whilst surrounded by the most famous, kid-friendly icon in the world.

“Is this getting you off?” he can't help but giggle, peppering Dan's neck with quick kisses as Dan cups his jaw.

“Will you? Hope so,”

“No, I mean - “ he kisses Dan's cheek then is forced back into the sofa as Dan ducks to lick at his Adam's apple. His is way more sensitive and Dan knows it, the cheeky little shit, squeezing his legs to Phil's and making his dick throb. “Ah! - Mickey Mouse is watching,”

“Fuck Mickey fucking Mouse,” Dan dismisses before he rethinks, “wait, no – fuck me – fucking me is a better idea, right?”

Logically, Phil knows he can't because their luggage remains downstairs and that includes the lube, but god does he want to. He's only sprung a semi but making out and a well-aimed lick was all it took to get there, so he can't imagine much will be needed to go the whole hog, so it speak. Great, now he's thinking of animals and it's a swift return to Mickey. He chances a sideways glance as Dan straightens to kiss him hotly again. Mickey smiles benignly back at Phil. Dan wriggles and bears down, his arse right over Phil's confined dick.

“Oh!” he squeaks, hips bucking without him meaning to, before there's a swift loud knock at the door and he shouts, scared. “ _Argh_!”

The one small mercy is the fact that Dan had the presence of mind earlier to kick the door shut, but he feels his pale cheeks burst aflame with embarrassment anyway at the sound of his mum's voice on the other side. “Children? We're going to the grocery store, come on,”

Kath does a terrible American accent that snowballs into Phil thinking about the mum in _Mean Girls_ asking if the characters want snacks or condoms and he's supremely glad that that awful thought is only in his head. Dan breathing a laugh into his neck is enough to pull him back into the present. “Give us a minute, Mum!”

“You have 60 seconds, child,” she agrees. “60, 59...”

Her voice fades away with her footsteps as Phil takes hold of Dan's hips to push him to a stand. Quite how they're meant to calm down in 55 seconds or less is anyone's guess, but Phil looks around at the Mickey Mouse room in case it helps. He tilts his head at the table and what looks to be two of the tiniest stools ever.

“Are those seats?”

“No idea,” Dan shrugs, picking up his GATORLAND hat from the floor, the gems sparkling in the afternoon light. “You should test one out.”

Phil stands too and pulls down his t-shirt from where Dan's busy hands had bunched it up in his fists. “Nice try, but knowing my luck, my arse would crush it,”

“And you'd fall arse over elbow and get a splinter.” Dan grins, smacking said arse hard on the way past. “Right, the sooner we get food, the sooner we can eat and then the sooner we can fuck.”

“Like poetry to my ears, love.” Phil mocks, but he smiles when he sees how Dan ducks his head at the term of endearment. It's a rare thing, which means its effect is potent when used like so and if Dan looks at him with such naked want as he's blindly applying chapstick to his already kissable lips in the back of the car on the journey to the nearest grocery store then Phil's only got himself to blame.

* * *

After an impromptu feast courtesy of the barbecue beside the pool, there's drinks and their first games night of the trip that dissolves into a highly competitive round of charades, couple against couple. Dan tries hard not to be smug as he and Phil win, the familiarity of their bond helping him relax completely. (“Of course they won. They spend every fucking minute attached at the hip!” “Language, Martyn, please,” Kath warns. Everyone choruses their surprise. “Proper name an' all,” Phil points out, beaming. “Shut up and be gracious, child,” Kath chides, but Phil knows his mum and she's smiling with her eyes.)

As his brother stubbornly tries to argue his case some more, Phil is aware of Dan's gaze stuck to his profile. They don't really do PDA in front of anyone, so it feels big when Dan's pinkie finger inches across the space between them on the lounger they're both sat on to curl around Phil's own. It stops him using his hands to express himself and it shocks him into losing his words. Martyn smirks like he's rightfully won this battle from under his younger brother's nose until Kath passes another fruity cocktail concoction to Phil and pats him on the head with a “for my boy, the winner”.

Eventually, they all tire themselves out from drinking and laughing too much and Phil gets ready for bed practically on autopilot. It's still too hot in the nights to wear much, so Phil strips to garishly red boxer briefs and waits for Dan to come out of the en suite before saying goodnight. Again, his words die on his tongue when Dan reappears, striding out like he's not wearing his usual black underwear with a too big white t-shirt emblazoned with the face of a certain Mickey Mouse.

“Is this a joke?” Phil splutters and he's right back in that room down the hall, Dan doing his damnedest to make him hard and wanting.

“Call it a happy coincidence,” Dan offers, pulling away the sheets to the bed so he can climb in. At Phil's wary look, he caves. “My cat one needs a wash and I forgot to do it before I packed it, so this is old but clean.” Seemingly happy with his own explanation, he proceeds to do like earlier in the day and straddle Phil's legs. The intensity of Phil's déjà vu increases as he sits propped up against the headboard, but now Dan can get at his bare chest and he shivers as long fingers lightly touch across the smattering of hair there, always in lust with the contrast between himself and his boyfriend.

Without Dan kissing him, Phil is almost face to face with Mickey again and he grimaces. “I can see Mickey and it's freaking me out. We're ruining childhoods here,”

“Shut up and fucking kiss me, nerd,” Dan replies, jaw clenching.

He cups Phil's face with both hands and digs his knees into the softness of the bed so that Phil has to tip his head back as Dan claims his mouth and rolls his hips roughly. Phil feels his dick twitch in response, waking up from his dormancy of a few hours after their mum-shaped interruption. He doesn't have to think about terrible things to will his erection away now, except the sight of Mickey's happy expression is putting a dampener on things for him. He tries to be subtle at first, running his hands underneath the hem of Dan's lengthy t-shirt to push it up his torso as he hopes to distract Dan with every brush of his tongue, but he keeps trapping Phil's wandering hands by clamping his elbows to his sides. 

To try and get out of that, he relaxes until Dan lets go and tries to play a little dirty instead, immediately pushing his hand into Dan's underwear to grab at his cock. He'll never tire of the weight, the length and fuzzy, velvety touch to his palm, streaked with precome as Dan is already wet at the tip because he's always wanted Phil with such ferocity and passion that it knocks him sideways and his mouth slackens dumbly as he hears Dan moan in approval. They share a wall with Martyn and Cornelia and Phil feels the flush creep up his neck, raising goosebumps, before he puts his other, unoccupied hand over Dan's mouth to quiet him. He loves doing that, loves that Dan _lets_ him, trusts him, but isn't so keen when it's reciprocated and his eyebrows rise as Dan ends their kiss for it to then lean towards the top bedside drawer. He quickly finds the lube they stashed there before they were called down to the BBQ and Phil's hands fall away uselessly as he gets out of bed.

“Come on,”

Phil blinks at him in the twilight, blinds closed and no light on. “What?”

He links his fingers with Phil's and tugs, smirking. “We're _really_ gonna ruin some childhoods.”

Phil could a) let him go and watch him sheepishly return, b) get his hand strained by trying to resist or c) go along with Dan's plan and it doesn't take a genius to work out where Phil lands, literally on the sofa with the Mickey Mouse throw, the rug soft under his bare feet and the pictures faded into blobs in the dark. Dan strips his boxers away with a wobbly, uncoordinated flourish but keeps the t-shirt on with an evil smirk before he resumes his position on top of Phil. It's long enough to cover his thickening cock and he shoves the hem over Phil's hand when he touches him so that there's an obscene kind of tent action going on. Phil bends to Dan's will because he's biting his lip and his dark eyes are half-lidded with mounting pleasure and Phil's just strong enough to a point. When Dan offers, Phil greedily takes and hopes to pay him back in kind. This might be a little crazy, but Phil will get him back for it soon enough and he smiles at the gasp that falls from Dan's lips as he handles him a little rougher than usual, pulling him to kneel a bit higher with one thing on his mind. 

Touching him is not enough now, so Phil noses beneath the t-shirt to kiss at his bare cock. It hardens more under his mouth and it's almost too hot under there when Dan's hips jerk forward and his hands press on top of Phil's head over the lump of his t-shirt. Phil's pretty sure he's stretching it, but Dan smells like sunshine already and musk with a hint of minty bodywash so he can't do anything other than lick out to taste his skin. Warm and needy, he has Dan begging for it with his body in an instant as he trails kisses from his hips to his balls whilst his hands roam his arse and thighs. Phil shuts out the surrounding Mickey Mouse (Mouses? Mickey Mice? The eternal debate of a group of Mickey memorabilia) to close his eyes and suckle at the head of Dan's cock. It's gentle, assured fashion seems to make Dan buck more violently rather than keep it slow and calm and Phil recoils from fingers trying to push his head down, emerging to suck in air.

“Sorry!” Dan hisses frantically, petting Phil's face. “Sorry, just – you're too good at that,”

Phil has barely started, but he knows Dan is too keyed up to care so he tries for a final time to get rid of his boyfriend's t-shirt. He wants at least one Mickey out of the way, but also he'll never get bored of looking at Dan like this, stubbornly wanton and full of ideas and energy. He loves him so much it breaks and mends his heart time and time again. He grins and closes his hand around the lube left carelessly on the seat beside them as Dan helps him until he's naked and rocking in Phil's lap, just his boxers separating them. Phil dips his head to absently pass over a nipple then lower, licking at Dan's cock and struggling not to get lube everywhere as he blindly coats his fingers and rubs them between Dan's cheeks. Phil glances up to see him lick his lips and stare down at him, challenging. He's in to the second knuckle with ease as Dan's ready for it and squeezes in another following the tense-and-release as Dan rides the unexpected wave of surprise as Phil sucks at his balls. He blurts more precome for that and bears down on Phil's fingers like he would his cock. It's an underhanded trick that makes Phil groan into Dan's crotch and dial back in to his body, his own dick springing free when Dan rushes to uncover it. He's so hard he could cry and Dan teasing him near his hole isn't helping. Phil is dimly aware that neither of them picked up a condom from the drawer, but then his vision is filled with Dan's grin, sharp like a shark.

“Now you want to fuck me, don't you? Mickey Mouse, be damned,”

“Shush,” Phil croaks, not quite managing to spit 'shut up'. His hands tighten around Dan's hips and guide him down. The hot clench of his body is tortuously slow and all-consuming and Dan's shaking when he bottoms out, exhaling like he's just remembered how to breathe. “This is - ” a bad idea and I don't want to hurt you...

“This is good,” Dan sighs, grinding in small motions as he closes his eyes and grips Phil's shoulders. “Mmm, so good,”

Phil twitches in an aborted move, wrestling with keeping his control because the pressure of Dan around him and the pull of his body is magnetic, drawing him in even when Dan shifts a little to fuck himself on Phil's dick. It should be wetter, easier, but Phil's hands are stuck to Dan's hips so he can't do anything except sit here as Dan works him over, his neck tipped back onto the sofa as Dan also kisses him in an imitation of what their bodies are doing, a deep, steady screw that builds until they're sweating and panting. His boxers are twisted and damp around his thighs, but it ceases to be an annoyance when Dan licks the sweat from his throat and _bites_ as his arse squeezes. It punches a helpless grunt out of Phil and he plants his feet on the rug to thrust, groaning more freely.

“I think – oh shit – I'm gonna - ”

Dan urges him on, moving faster and he bites to the left of the previous mark, all on Phil's Adam's apple. It hurts, but like the ache he gets after Dan's fucked him, and it seems to be hard-wired to his dick. He feels it flex inside Dan and he moans long and low, knowing all too well what's about to happen, before sudden cold air and a release of pressure hits him like a jab to the stomach as Dan lifts off from him at the crucial time. Quick as a flash, he's kneeling above Phil though and wanking him off with such speed that he can't ask him to wait a second and explain. Phil feels his forehead wrinkle in confusion and his expression crumple as his orgasm takes over anyway, not interested in semantics. Something stops him from coming over himself like he's an oversexed teenager again, but reality is swept away for a moment and he only realises what it is when Dan is softly kissing his red cheek and asking him if he's alright in a whisper.

“You didn't...” he winces, knowing that yep, Dan did and he looks far too pleased with himself. “Dan!”

“What? This was less messy!”

Phil shakes his head in disbelief. “In what way is getting _come on somebody else's Mickey Mouse throw_ less messy?”

“Less than it being in my arse, that's for sure,” he shrugs. He's standing on shaky legs when Phil feels the need to cash in that payback now. He didn't think the opportunity would come the same night, but he grabs Dan's bony hips and shoves him down into the seat. His cock bobs, unsatisfied, even as he scowls to cover his whisper-shouted shriek being caught off guard like that. “Phil! What the fuck?”

“My turn, love.”

He pulls one of Dan's legs over his and bends to swallow him down. 

Dan arches off the sofa and his hand is painful in Phil's hair but he hasn't come and that's not right. Phil has a feeling it won't take much and he works him into his throat, thorough but careful. He presses on the splotchy mark left by Dan's teeth and sucking lips and groans, 50% show and 50% real. Dan writhes and there's that delicious whimper. Somehow Phil's thumb finds its way between his legs and with him half-sprawled across Phil, it's easy to slip inside and Dan's climax hits, rolling off him in waves as he comes in Phil's mouth.

Once he's sure it's over, Phil straightens and uses the thumb that was just inside Dan to brush his lips, checking he got it all. Dan's eyelashes flutter at seeing such filth, but he's too wrung out to say anything, never mind do anything about it, settling for lying there prone as Phil kisses his temple. “Now _that's_ less messy.”

He giggles at Dan's pitiful moan of defeat. “You're right, whatever – I quit.” Figuring he's got to be the more responsible one, Phil shuffles out from their tangle of limbs to pick Dan's discarded sleepwear up off the floor. He thinks about tossing them at him, but one look at his sleepy face softens his resolve and he's dressing him before he can think too much about it. Afterwards, Dan nuzzles into his neck. “Thanks, you're the best.”

“Best boyfriend, I know,” Phil smiles and pushes Dan to his feet, hand on his shoulder. 

He sighs when he sees the throw, unravelled from its neat rectangle and defiled with stains. It feels so naughty, scandalous almost, as he gingerly grabs it to take with them. He can't leave it in here for anyone to find and he'll just have to think of an excuse to use the washing machine. But that's for tomorrow. Tonight, they need to sleep and maybe, as he's walking a clingy, snuggly Dan to their room, he can admit that it was a lot of fun. He'd think Mickey Mouse would be proud, but that's probably going a step too far.

One thing's for sure - he's never going to look at that Mickey Mouse room the same way again.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, lovelies x
> 
> I'm on tumblr at [theprincessed](http://www.theprincessed.tumblr.com). Come chat to me. :)


End file.
